.represent.and.keep.it.real.

lacy:

so today was really refreshing! uplifting and amazing! i have to admit that lately, i have been struggling with spiritual apathy.... awesome time to struggle huh?? well i need to keep in mind that no one is perfect and has the capability of struggling with anything at anytime.... this morning, i just laid it down; i'm just tired of not caring cause i know thats not how G created me! So i just stopped making excuses and making everything candy-coated.... just gave Him all the dirt ive been keeping in my pockets and everywhere else that had a place! there was things i was holding onto that was preventing me from healing, and not letting G to have full control of my heart.... NO MORE! im sick of it and frankly, Rev 2:5 scared me.... put fear and reverence back into my heart.... im writing this because i want to get back to humility; i want to get back to my first deeds, which was being open bout my heart.... i used to not be afraid of what people thought of me and didnt care whether they judged me or not because i knew who was in my heart.... i dont know why or how, but i just began to care what people thought of me.... i thought i had to keep up an image of a "perfect" chrstian and be as good as i could be.... HA! thats not chrstianity at all.... being a chrstian is being real with what your about and believe; i used to say in high school: "If your a chrstian, REPRESENT and keep it REAL!" for some reason, ive forgotten that until now :) its so refreshing not tryin to put up a facade! who wants to hold a mask to their face forever???

anyways, like i said, today was refreshing! im so thankful for G's grace! and tonight during andys mens group, i went to SIAS cafe to work on school stuff, grades, and to have some papaya milk tea (oh so good!).... i was also talkin to my mom; yes i can multi-task :) and i got it all done too! anyways, there was open mic for a lil bit where some people were singing and playing the guitar; it was really cool! i didnt understand what they were saying, but it sounded really good! i recognized one chinese song.... anyways, after that the restuarant started to play chrstmas songs; and i dont mean jingle bells, rudolph the red nose reindeer, or grandma got ran over by a reindeer stuff... im talking, billy graham christmas choir belting out music! like bethlehem, angels, gloria, chrst is born stuff! my mom and i were laughing (more like "lol" on the computer) because its so ironic that they play that type of music but i cant type the words over the internet..... but i have to say tho that this place is pretty unique.... it was just nice to hear those songs since it really hasnt felt like christmas.... it does lil bit now tho cause some lights are up, but theres no promoted chrstmas concert going on or nativity scenes around.... OH! we did finally decorate our tree on friday!! it has lights and small ornaments with a red star on top! we will take a pic of it on wed when we have our truth corner... alright well im off to bed, i have a class early in the morning! the last time for that class this semester :)